Dear Carolyn,

I'm in recovery mode following Lily's birthday and gearing up to be Matron of Honor extraordinaire for my friend in November. I have a laundry list of projects to complete, things to order and fit into and make and mail. I'm excited and tired just thinking about it. 36 days till her wedding and I am worried. And if I am worried, she must be LOSING her mind.

I am glad to have that done and over with. I remember agonizing over every stupid detail of my wedding (as I am sure you do, too) and in the grand scheme all it is is a fancy party. Marriage and life begin way after they chaos dies down. Of course you can't tell anyone in the throes of planning The Biggest Day of Their Life that it really isn't at all. Bigger days have already happened and bigger days are coming.

I must have that borderline cynical belief because everything that could go wrong with our wedding did, and it wasn't (and hasn't) been indicative of our marriage at all. The party and the celebration and support you get are great, but not as big a "thing" as we make it. After the party is when it all begins, right?

Someone asked us awhile back if we thought we were soul mates and Aaron and I looked at each other and laughed. We really don't subscribe to the notion of soul mates. I do think God had us picked out for each other and He was going to bring us together no matter what, but after that it's a daily choice. We choose to be married and in love every day. Or to try to love each other the way we both deserve on the days we don't feel like it.

Marriage is harder now than it was a few years ago only because we are so busy that some days we forget to see each other. I am aware of it, I think he is, too. I am not afraid to say to him, once in awhile, that we need to slow down and talk and laugh and remember who we are together. One flesh. It's so easy to forget that now and veer off into our own desires and needs. But we really are one flesh. What is his is mine and what is mine is his.

Aaron has done such a great job of nurturing and valuing my interests over the years, even when he doesn’t understand them. They aren't his interests, other than because they are mine they are his. I don't know if that makes sense. I think its more about embracing what they love and even while we don't call it our own, we protect if for them the way we do our own passions.

Wow. Didn't mean to go there. I was going to talk about the weather and pumpkin recipes and decorating for fall. Guess, I had other things to say!

Claire

Dear Claire,

I am busier than I've ever been, and it's a good distraction to the homesickness.

I'm working a full-time temp job.  Accounting sucks, by the way.

My quarter for seminary started.  I'm taking two online classes, which means I read and write more than I would if there were time in a classroom.  They have to hold us accountable to the material somehow.

And, drum roll please, I am taking one massage class this quarter.  Chipping away at the 375 hours I need to get certified in Tennessee.

All this means that I have a constant to-do list rattling in my head.  Read, check.  Write, check.  Make dinner, check.  Laundry, check.  Read some more, check.  Go to work and hate my life for 8 hours, check.

There is a light at the end of the tunnel.  In 18 months, I will have a Masters degree and my massage certification.  I will be giving massages and earning some cash and living high on the hog.  Not really, but I will have a job that fits my personality.

I am typing this as I heat up some soup for dinner.  I am going to write a forum post for class, and then Jason and I are going to sit on the couch and watch a movie and eat a lot of ice cream before we go to bed at 8:30 (because that's our bedtime).

Happy Friday!

What did you do today?

Love,
Carolyn